Girls' Night Out
by mannequin doll
Summary: The worst part of being a woman is the men." Blair, Serena, and Jenny want to go out for a night about town, but end up staying in. Why? Blame it on the rain. Future fic. CB/DS/NJ.
1. Girls' Night Out

**Girls' Night Out**

"_The worst part of being a woman is the men."_

**Disclaimer:**All characters owned by The CW and Josh Schwartz._  
_**Rating:**PG-13  
**Summary: **Blair, Serena, and Jenny want to go out for a night about town, but end up staying in. Why? Blame it on the rain. Future fic. CB/DS/NJ.

* * *

"Hey, B," Serena van der Woodsen grinned brightly into the phone, despite the fact that outside, it was a gloomy day in the Upper East Side.

"Serena," Blair Waldorf replied haughtily on the other line, sounding disappointed. "It's _raining_," she sighed.

"Who cares? Let live and love…or something like that," Serena laughed carelessly. "You ready for tonight?"

"Hardly," Blair rolled her eyes. "Not in _this_ weather," she told her best friend.

"Well, I love the rain. And I can't believe you're going to let that stop our girls' night out," Serena complained, motioning around her city apartment, even though Blair couldn't see her or her perky smile.

On the other line, Blair sat in a designer black robe, her legs crossed as she looked out the grand window of her own recently rented apartment. "I know you do, but I don't. So why don't you call your boyfriend's little sister and let her know we're staying in?"

"Her name is Jenny," Serena reminded her friend. "Are you _ever_ going to call her by her real name?" she laughed.

Blair smirked. "She'll always be miniature Cabbage Patch to me, no matter how close you guys are," she replied.

"Jenny aside, what do you propose we do? I refuse to do nothing tonight. We had plans and we're going to keep them," Serena told her determinedly.

Blair scoffed. "Just hang out with Dan," she retorted. "I'm sure you guys will…think of ways to have fun," she continued, a grin curling on her lips.

Serena shook her head, forgetting that Blair wasn't there. There used to be a time when Serena had the sinking suspicion that Blair was everywhere. "I can't. He has plans, too," she said.

Blair laughed loudly at this. "To do what? Play with Cedric?" she giggled, feeling like a teenager all over again.

"As if. I know that he sold that ages ago," Serena replied with an approving nod. "And no, he's out with your hideous boyfriend."

"With Chuck and Nate?" Blair raised her eyebrows, surprised. "Didn't know he had it in him. He _does_ realize that all they're doing is getting drunk and high, right?"

Serena chuckled. "I love how when I say boyfriend, you refer to both of them," she told her.

Blair shrugged carelessly. "What can I say? I just don't understand why Nate would pick miniature Cabbage Patch to pass the time."

Serena rolled her eyes. "They're in a serious relationship," she insisted. "Really."

"He hasn't proposed," Blair reminded her. "Besides, he can do better than her," she went on.

Serena sighed. "Four years out of high school, and you're still competitive as hell, B."

"Call it my tragic flaw. Be here at eight, bitch."

* * *

"Leaving so soon?" Chuck Bass smirked deviously, pulling Blair back into his arms.

Blair glanced at the clock quickly, smiling back at him sweetly. "Yes, now get the fuck off me," she yelped as he began kissing his way down her collarbone.

"Ditching me for Serena again?" he sighed, shaking his head.

Blair smirked an identical one to his. "And little cabbage," she rolled her eyes.

"Do I sense envy for Jenny?" Chuck raised his eyebrows, pulling on his shirt as he did so.

"Please," Blair rolled her eyes again. "I got my bad boy in the end," she glared at him playfully.

"Shit, what time is it?" he asked as his eyes widened slightly. Blair looked at the clock again.

"Seven thirty. What are you in a rush for? Hot date?" she demanded, crossing her arms as he pulled on his jeans.

"If you still consider Archibald hot, then yes," he smirked, pulling her in for a kiss before heading towards the bathroom.

"Where are you going?" she whined. "I need the bathroom, too!"

"I have to look hot before your ex boyfriend arrives," he called out to her as she looked after him murderously.

"Stupid Chuck Bass. Four years, and he still takes longer to get ready than you do," Blair muttered to herself, using the mirror above her vanity to get ready instead. The diamond engagement ring on her finger had never gleamed so brightly under the lights of her dresser.

* * *

"Jenny! Hi!" Serena exclaimed, hugging her boyfriend's little sister. "How's college?" she asked excitedly as she entered Nate's apartment. He was out with no other than Chuck Bass at the moment, as far as Serena knew.

"Brown's just as amazing as you said it would be," Jenny Humphrey smiled widely, hugging her back excitedly. "I just miss not being here all the time."

Serena laughed. "Well, at least you're back this weekend," she claimed happily. "Blair and I decided to stay in because of the rain. Hope that's cool with you."

"No problem," Jenny grinned. "So we're hanging out at the Waldorf apartment?"

"Alas, it seems so," Serena shrugged. "Come on, let's go. B will kill me if we're late," she said as they started for Dan's old Mustang.

"What about me?" Jenny asked playfully.

Serena glanced at her quickly. "I think you're already dead to her," she giggled slightly. "No offense," she quickly added. Ah. S always did have impeccable timing.

"Right," Jenny smiled tightly.

Serena touched her arm lightly. "It's fine. We'll loosen the girl up and you'll laugh like you've never laughed before at an intoxicated Blair Waldorf."

Jenny already began laughing at the idea of perfect Blair slurring even the slightest of words.

* * *

"You're late," were the first words that flew out of Blair's mouth as Serena and Jenny entered the apartment.

"Or you're early," Serena grinned, hugging her. "Ready to get drunk?" she giggled.

Blair eyed her suspiciously. "Did you take some of your boyfriend's weed?"

Jenny gasped as she turned to Serena. "Dan does weed?" she exclaimed.

Blair laughed. "Don't look so surprised; your boyfriend does too," she said with a flip of her brown locks and a roll of her eyes.

Blair looked at Jenny in the eye for the first time since they had arrived, and she had to stifle the comments dying to be let out. Jenny looked almost exactly like Serena these days, from their matching blonde highlights to Jenny's "Serena College-wear". "You look good," Blair settled for with a glint in her eye.

"Thanks, Blair. So do you," Jenny complimented her with a smile, surprised at the kindness and sincerity in her voice.

"You'd look better if you didn't look like a cheap Serena knock off," Blair said off-handedly, looking down at her bright red fingernails.

Serena glared at her as Jenny's eyes enlarged. "Fashion faux pas?" she smirked, laughing at herself. She had found it was the best way to go when playing with the big girls.

Blair gazed at her, admiring her newfound confidence. "At least college is teaching you something."

"So who's ready for some drinks?" Serena grinned, heading over to Blair's bar, where she started mixing drinks.

Before Blair could respond, Serena had whipped up an indistinguishable glass and handed it to her. Downing it almost immediately, Blair smiled, placing it back on the bar table. "Jenny?" she offered.

"No thanks," Jenny refused politely. Catching eyes with Serena, she shook her head. "I'm trying to stay sober tonight…you know, for the ride home."

"Same here," Serena said. "But Blair, you should totally drink up," she grinned as she poured in more for her best friend.

"I love girls' night in," Blair exclaimed loudly after her fifth drink.

"So do we," Serena chimed in excitedly. Slightly drunk after breaking her pact to stay sober, she continued, "Jenny, did Blair ever tell you how she hooked up with Chuck?"

Jenny shook her head no. Blair laughed, slapping her hand on the marble table. "Oh God, I was _stripping_ at his stupid Victor/Victrola joint," she laughed, finding this hilarious.

Jenny nodded along, looking at Serena for help. However, Serena was looking dreamily out the window. "I hate Cabbage Patch," she whined.

Blair looked at her. "Why? Is he too smaaaart for you, dummy?" she slurred with a series of giggles following.

Jenny held in her laughter. "No, but he won't propose!" Serena told her with a frown on her face.

"Chuck proposed," Blair bragged, holding up her slender hand for all of them to see. "Is Nathaniel going to propose?" she asked Jenny with a goofy grin.

Jenny's eyes widened, looking like a lost deer in the woods. "Uh…" she trailed off, but Serena interrupted her.

"When did you start calling Nate _Nathaniel_?" she asked, changing her voice to that of a snotty person's.

"Bass is a bad influence! Bass the Ass!" Blair laughed. Serena doubled over in laughter as they both continued to talk nonsense, Jenny nervously sitting in the middle of it all.

"The worst part of being a woman is the men," Blair continued with a frown. "All they want is sex, sex, sex!"

Jenny blushed, her cheeks flushed entirely. "Have you and Nate had sex yet?" Blair pouted, directing her gaze at her.

Jenny stared openmouthed. "Err…" but was once again interrupted by Serena.

"Yes!" Serena said loudly. "She told Dan, Dan told me and we're all a happy family," she smiled, proud of her rhyme.

"He's really bad in bed, isn't he?" Blair attempted a whisper, but it was rather loud. "Oh wait, we _all _know that," she laughed, looking at Serena as well.

"We all slept with Natie!" Serena screamed the obvious, with a slight hiccup at the end.

"YAY!" Jenny wasn't sure which one of them had made that proclamation, but she had an idea that it would be the final one of the night, seeing as they had both passed out on Blair's leather couch.

_Classy._

* * *

"And I thought we got drunk," Chuck shook his head as he arrived home later that night, glancing at the three girls in his living room.

Nate Archibald followed behind him, Dan Humphrey trailing after him. "I slept with all of them," Nate stated dumbly as he stared at the three girls.

Dan whacked him on the shoulder. "I've never gotten high before," he said before he fell onto the wood floor of the apartment. _Thud_.

Chuck snickered, placing a blanket over the girls before he and Nate dragged Dan onto the other couch. He stared at Blair's hand, smiling at the radiating light coming off of it.

On the other side of the room, Nate was putting Dan's hand over his little sister's right breast in his high state. Nate giggled girlishly.

_We'd be nothing without our boys, girls._

* * *

**Author's Notes: **Completely random, I know. It just sort of came out. Review, please? Tell me if you like! 


	2. Boys' Night High

**Disclaimer: **All characters owned by The CW and Josh Schwartz._  
_**Rating: **PG-13**  
Summary: **Chuck, Nate and Dan. Who would've thought? A night spent getting high, drunk and womanless. Companion piece to "Girls' Night Out".  
**Author's Note: I **had posted this up awhile ago as a separate story, the companion piece to "Girls' Night Out", but I just today decided to make it all into one story. Enjoy if you like.

"Nathaniel," Charles Bass regarded coolly as his best friend of years on end entered his apartment.

"Hey," Nate Archibald glanced up, nodding his head in acknowledgement. "What are we doing tonight?"

Chuck smirked as he lay back against his couch. "Well, the girls are staying here, so I was thinking we could get high, get drunk…remind you of anything?"

Nate smiled, shaking his head. "High school," he sighed. "Dan called me last night. He wants in today," he told his friend.

"Humphrey?" Chuck scoffed in disbelief. "Does he even know what weed is?" he laughed obnoxiously.

Nate rolled his eyes. "It wouldn't kill you to be nice, you know. If anything, he should hate you. You did almost rape his little sister way back when," he reminded him.

"Aw, Nathaniel. You bitter that I ended up with your hot ex and you got my rape victim?" he chuckled.

"Please, Chuck. You and Blair are the most manipulative people I know. Anyway, so Dan's gonna meet us here in about…five minutes," Nate grinned apologetically as he glanced at his Rolex.

Chuck groaned. "Way to ruin the night, Nathaniel. Might as well bring your tagalong girlfriend, too."

Nate raised his eyebrows. "Actually, she's hanging out with Serena and Blair tonight," he informed him.

"So I've heard." Chuck grinned devilishly as the doorbell rung. "Hey Nathaniel?"

"Yeah?" Nate called back as Chuck got up to get the door.

"If I say anything to make Humphrey punch you in the face, I apologize in advance," he drawled as he swung the door open. "You can blame it on the weed."

Dan Humphrey chose to step in at that moment as he hung up his blazer on the coat rack. "Put the jacket back on, Daniel," Chuck commanded. "We were just about to head out."

Nate and Chuck walked out of the apartment as Dan trailed after them. "Wait, what? Weed?"

A half hour later, all three boys were seated at the Palace's bar. While Nate had lit up on the subway, Chuck and Dan had yet to do anything but have a few drinks.

Nate grinned goofily as a tall blonde walked past them, brushing against his arm. Chuck rolled his eyes. "You know, it doesn't take a detective to see that you've been screwing around behind her back."

Nate widened his eyes almost comically as he turned around in his chair to face Chuck. Dan glared at him. "You've been messing with my sister, Archibald?"

Nate shook his head furiously. Chuck rolled his eyes at his friend's obliviousness. He turned to Dan. "No, he's just been dreaming about fucking your girlfriend again."

Dan raised his eyebrows at Chuck. "And not yours?"

Chuck smirked, impressed. "Touché. But at least my girlfriend isn't as promiscuous as yours."

Dan was about to take a swing at him _a la high school era _before Nate interrupted, "Ha, ha. I fucked Jen on the kitchen counter in her dorm room last weekend."

Dan switched directions and punched Nate instead. Nate fell over in his stool. Chuck stifled laughter as he glanced at the two of them. "Wow, Nathaniel. I take back what I said earlier. I didn't have to say anything and you still got punched."

Dan laughed carelessly as he helped Nate up and shook his hand. "I miss Serena," he whined.

Chuck sighed at Dan's low tolerance of alcohol, considering he had only had two glasses. "Maybe we should head home," he said, glancing at Nate's bruising eye.

"Why?" Nate laughed loudly. "I like getting punched."

Chuck shook his head with a laugh, hoisting his friend off the stool and out of the bar. "You would."

The boys arrived back at Chuck and Blair's apartment to find Blair, Serena and Jenny passed out on the couch.

Chuck smiled for the first time that night as he eyed Blair's engagement ring, ignoring his two friends' blubbering, drunken remarks.

The cab ride home had been excruciatingly long, what with Chuck trying to prevent Nate from pulling out the weed before the driver fucking _arrested_ them and trying to keep Dan from punching Nate again. Needless to say, Nate had made more than a few comments about sleeping with the younger Humphrey on the ride home.

"And I thought we got drunk," Chuck muttered as Nate and Dan trailed behind him.

Nate suddenly got a big smile on his face as he eyed the three girls sleeping on the leather couch. "I slept with all of them," he realized. Had he not been so slow to figure it out and sounding so dumb at the same time, Chuck would have been quick to shove him.

In all fairness, Dan had taken to whacking him on the shoulder instead. "I think Serena was the best one in bed," Nate decided, nodding his head.

Chuck rolled his eyes. "No fucking way. Blair is definitely the best," he smirked, thinking about their previous escapade.

Dan shook his head. "No way. I agree with Nate," he started before glaring at the aforementioned boy.

Yawning tiredly, Dan adopted a smile similar to Nate's. "I've never gotten high before," he said before he fell onto the wood floor of the apartment. _Thud_.

Chuck snickered, placing a blanket over the girls before he and Nate dragged Dan onto the other couch, Nate doing little to help as he kept glancing over at the girls and smiling.

Deciding Chuck could handle the skinny Dan by himself, Nate treaded over to the other side of the room, where the girls lay asleep. Putting his hand over his girlfriend's right breast, he giggled excitedly.

_Sounds like you guys had fun_.

_The Morning After;_

"What the fuck?!" Blair Waldorf screeched angrily as she awoke to a sleeping Nate Archibald sprawled across little Jenny Humphrey, Chuck Bass sleeping on the floor, and Dan Humphrey laying passed out on the couch opposite to her. Serena van der Woodsen watched in amusement from the adjacent kitchen, sitting at the counter with a bowl of cereal in her hands.

Chuck woke up to the sound of his fiancée's loud voice, rubbing his eyes as he glanced around the room confusedly.

"Why the fuck is Nathaniel's hand on your sister's boobs?" Chuck whispered easily to an awaking Dan.

Dan sprung awake as he jumped off the couch and dragged Jenny away from Nate, who groaned into the couch pillow as his hand lost its'…resting spot.

"We are going home, Jenny, _now_," he muttered, waving a quick goodbye to Serena before slamming the door shut.

"Well, B. Looks like we weren't the only ones up late last night," Serena smirked as the two girls burst into giggles at Nate's high-induced state and Chuck's satisfied smirk.

Chuck stood up from the floor, wiping his hands on his jeans that he had slept in from the night before. "By the way, Serena," he smiled. "If you want to know how Nathaniel got that shiner," he gestured to Nate's bruised face, "you might want to ask your boyfriend. Ask him why his shirt smells like weed, too," he smirked before Serena widened her eyes and took off.

"Looks like it's just you and me," Blair rolled her eyes as Chuck slung his arm over her shoulder, raising his eyebrows enticingly at her.

Blair chuckled loudly. "And the ex-boyfriend," she reminded him sweetly, pointing to the still sleeping Nate Archibald on her couch. "Get him out of here."

As Blair swung her hips towards their bedroom, Chuck grinned as he grabbed the sleeping Nate and dragged him out the door. "Later, Nathaniel!" he called out behind him.

_The morning after is always a bitch, boys._


End file.
